The Sharpshooter VS The Matchmaker
by DarkCrisan366
Summary: It is a 10-shot gag fic where Irvine has a personal solo mission while being assisted by Squall on dealing against a man who causes agony to the girls by disguising to their ideal guy using computerized matckmaking. This is Irvine's very own gag reel in the story.
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Hello guys, this is DarkCrisan366 and the one behind the SeeDs and the BlazBlue crossover fic. This next 10-shot gag fic takes place a few days after my first 10-shot gag fic, A Contest of Manliness. Irvine Kinneas is best known for being a handsome sharpshooter with a cowboy appearance especially for being a ladies' man. This will be his very own solo mission against the man who preys many women by disguising himself into their ideal guy being created by a digitalized matchmaking and is based on one of the episodes of Totally Spies!. You would find out what his real gag is. Here is the story.

_**The Sharpshooter VS The Matchmaker**_

_I'm so glad that I finally recovered from the sickness in a few days after I enter the very first tournament held by my biological father, Laguna Loire who is the President of Esthar. I tell Rinoa that I have to finish my studies while living at Balamb Garden because if you had reach at 20 years old, they would finally let you go and live in other places in our continent. Despite all this, I'm still the commander of this Garden. I wonder what my comrades would think about their normal lives. _

In the middle of the night, a woman who finally waved goodbye to her bandmates as she is about to get home at Balamb Town. Suddenly, a helicopter passing by as it dropped a computerized machine onto the ground. She was surprised to see this machine as the helicopter passes through. She was horrified about the sound of a bang when it drops this machine as she immediately runs away.

The next day at Balamb Hotel with the song "Line to Heaven" was played, the same woman last night came to see a man in a cowboy hat which happens to be Irvine who sits at the dining table and tries to inform him about the machine.

"So a computerized machine just drop through the ground. Wow, that was a ground impact."

"I'm telling you, Mr. Cowboy... that thing is different. When I tried to get back home, this thing had showed up and I saw a helicopter just passing through that night."

"Hmmm... quite weird, huh?" Irvine tries to think if he decides to help her. "Alright, young lady... I'll accept your offer to investigate this manner of trouble. I'm the best sharpshooter from Galbadia Garden. The name's Irvine Kinneas at your service..."

Meanwhile, at the library at Balamb Garden, Zell participates the love quizzes with the library girl and her friends as Selphie and her friends from the Garden committee decided to travel in Balamb Town about the matchmaking service.

"Hey Selphie, why do we go to Balamb Town for lunch?"

"Yeah... we never tried it when we usually eat at the cafeteria of this Garden."

"Sure... I heard Irvine was there. Can't wait to meet him." Selphie said cheerfully as one of the students inform her.

"I heard some rumor about the falling device last night. We should check it out..."

As soon as the girls were leaving at the library, they were observed closely by Squall who is reading books in literature while wearing his Balamb cadet uniform like the other Balamb students despite being a commander of this Garden as he thought.

_A falling device? Maybe I should investigate around in Balamb Town._

Back at Balamb Town, Irvine and the informant named Jesse arrive to visit the computerized machine which was dropped off last night as he looked at the sign.

"Arrow through Dating Service! Is that a matchmaking device?"

"I didn't know it was a matchmaking device." Jesse said as both were surprised that the machine was operational.

"How come it was activated on it's own?" Irvine said trying to find out the cause of the device to be operational as Selphie and her group arrive the scene.

"Irv... why are you here with this woman?"

"Gah! Sefie, you're here too. What brings you here with your lady friends?"

"So this is the falling device that my friends were talking about and it was operational." Selphie noticed the machine as her friends convince her.

"Why don't we try it, Selphie?"

"It maybe a bogus type of machine. I guess I'll try..."

The two then enters the machine, much to Irvine's shock and dismay.

"Girls, don't enter inside that machine?"

"Hello girls, welcome to the Arrow through Dating Service. Please answer the following question. An ice cream is to cake and blank is to love?"

"Fruit Shakes."

"A Genius with Political Courage."

Irvine annoyingly grits to see the girls are inside the machine which Jesse was curious about his behavior.

"I'm the only ladykiller who can woo the girls all the time. Why they have to participate this dating service machine?"

"Really? You were a natural lady killer?"

"Uhhh, I mean... A natural ladies' man, I love girls. I don't say something mean to them. I just loved them..." Irvine said jokily to her.

"You're quite a funny guy, Mr. Cowboy."

"Just Irvine, young lady... Calling me Mr. Cowboy is not my style." Irvine said correcting her.

"Which boy do you think it's cuter? Is it boy A or boy B?"

"Wow... he looks so hot! I'll take Boy A."

"Me... I'll take Boy B."

As soon as the girl got their answers, it zooms into Dollet where a man takes a download by the internet which is access through the satellite made by the Galbadian soldiers. he downloads a computerized ideal men as the download was completed. He then gets the gadget he had download and finally begins his main purpose. Both girls finally finished as they smile which makes Irvine jealous.

"Sefie, what did you answer inside of that dating machine? And I heard you're saying about that man in that device who thought he was cute."

"Don't questioning me, Irvine. We're just having fun answering the questions inside. I've never seen this machine looks pretty nice. We gotta go..."

Both Selphie and her friends eventually return back to Balamb Garden as Jesse watches them leave until both noticed the device is no longer operational.

"Can you even go after these girls?" Jesse said as Irvine annoyingly chases them.

"Argh! You can't just dart off without even answering my question, Sefie. This ain't like you!"

Irvine tries to chase after Selphie and her friends only to be bumped by someone who likes to investigate about the falling device. Find out on my next fic,

"Oh!"

"Ack!"


	2. Meeting Someone New

**A/N: **Just like in the Tekken games, I always bring original characters along. But here in this game, I can barely have one. So the informant named Jesse that Irvine was talking too bears a strong resemblance to WWE superstar Bayley in her casual appearance from her latest heel persona in the show. To be honest, the word ladykiller meaning he has a reputation for being attractive to girls much like a ladies' man, lol. But here in their world, this word is being mistaken as a serial killer who kills women. Here is the first chapter of my 10-shot gag fic.

**_Mission 1:_** Meeting Someone New

"Oh!"

"Ack!"

Irvine just bumped into a person who turned out to be Squall who wanted to investigate about the falling device that Selphie had meant earlier.

"Squall, you're here too?"

"Gonna ask the same question? Why are you here at Balamb Town, alone?"

Both men finally stand up as Jesse sees them as they recognized each other. Both now investigates the matchmaking device as Irvine tries to break it open by shooting his shotgun which is proven effective and he busts through the door and enters inside the device. To his shock, the device is made by a digital computer and became disappointed upon learning of this. But he accidentally bumped on his head due to his height.

"Oww!"

"Are you okay Irvine? You looked like you got bumped onto something?" Squall asked worriedly to his friend as Irvine comes out of the device while clutching his head.

"Yeah, I'm fine... Just got my head swollen."

Squall then discovers a wireless router which connected to the back of the matchmaking device and recognizing what it is.

"This wireless router? Looks like it was connected somewhere in this continent. Now I remember..."

Squall remembers the time he along with Zell and Selphie had a SeeD field exam at Dollet when they infiltrated the large satellite at the mountain side of the town. They tried to stop them but failed. Only they can beat both soldiers until they defeated Elvoret who attacks the two soldiers earlier in the battle.

"Earth to Squall, you okay in there? You seems pretty preoccupied with a wireless thingy on your hand."

"Uh, sorry... I just remembered a year ago when Zell, Selphie and I were infiltrated their satellite system in Dollet as part of the SeeD exam. Looks like the internet was fully operational after we infiltrated their territory." Squall said finally tells them about the device coming from Dollet.

"So this matchmaking device came from Dollet, huh. This is getting suspicious..." Irvine said while shaking his head as Jesse wants to know from them.

"I'm not sure about what you guys were saying. I'm one of the band members at the Dollet Hotel. I've never seen you knew about these satellite and stuff."

"It was the Garden's personal mission, young lady. You don't have to be involved in some mercenary affairs." Irvine mildly scolds her not to get involved as both noticed Squall decided to destroyed it with his gunblade Revolver.

"Since it was no longer operational, I'd say that I'll destroy it." Squall smirked as he unleashes his Rough Divide in a jumping slash as he cuts the device in half, destroying it in explosion.

"Wow... he just blew it down with one single cut. That was awesome..."

"Irvine, listen... It's really hard to find a nice women all over in our continent. If you keep relying on the dating booths." Squall said informing him while raising his gunblade as he sighs. "Especially, the girls too."

"But wait, how did you know of all this?" Irvine asked which Squall replies in a smirk.

"Rinoa just told me about lots of things when she and I had a date. It's quite personal if I tell you everything about this."

"You were lucky because Rinoa is with you. But I have to warn Sefie about this current situation right NOW!" Irvine remarked him because of their relationship as he immediately leaves to find Selphie at Balamb Garden. Jesse laughs after seeing how funny he is.

"He looks preoccupied on that schoolgirl he had knew."

"...He's jealous knowing that he keeps wooing all the girls. I think he's gonna warn Selphie about this." Squall sighed while putting his left hand on his left hip and carries his gunblade.

The next day at the Training Center, Selphie fights off the Grats with her nunchucks as the love envelope appears in the sky and she receives it.

"Wow, it's from the matchmaking device, it says that you have to meet me tonight at Timber Bar, signed Dorian." Selphie said as she blushes when she was madly in love with the person she wanted to meet.

Therefore, Irvine remembers when some of Selphie's friends are informing him about the question of the matchmaking device.

"Hmmm, an ice cream with a cake and blank is to love, that was a rhetorical question. It's like talking about what the girl's favorite food. She'd never told me about the guy she had handpicked on that matchmaking device. Gah! I'm the number one ladykiller in this entire continent and I'm bringing it!"

"What's a lady killer you were talking about, Irv...?" Selphie arrives as he surprisingly breaks the ice.

"Uhhh... no I'm not hitting on women and anything Sefie. Just a figure of speech, hehe..."

"Well, I'm gonna meet a guy at Timber. I gotta go..."

When Selphie leaves the Garden to meet someone at Timber, Irvine became jealous to see this situation and he annoyingly chases her as Zell stops him.

"Irvine, you look ballistic or something."

"Nah, just following Sefie. Zell... I'll be right back..."

In most cities at the Galbadia continent, some Balamb students are dating with their ideal men as Selphie has to meet her dream boy at Timber who is muscular and handsome waiting for her at the station. Irvine follows her on the way and became disappointed to see her going as he mumbled.

"I don't like girls who were madly in love with just computer dates."

Selphie meets a man named Dorian who ended up blushing like a beetroot.

"How did you know it was me, Dorian?"

"I'm glad to meet you, Selphie and you must be the only beautiful gal in town." Dorian said as he gives a teddy bear as a gift. "Here's a present for you..."

"Ohhh..."

Irvine angrily clenching his fists upon knowing she ended up falling for that guy and noticing how strange a man who made a smooth talk at her.

"Sefie..."

When he returns back to Balamb Garden, he was frustrated and envy after seeing Selphie giving her a teddy bear.

"What kind of a man who gave her a teddy bear in the middle of the train station? My informant had warned me about this man who preys women from his handsome charms. Gah! No one dares to be bested by me as the ladykiller!"

"Who's the lady killer you were talking about?"

"Gah!" Irvine horribly gasped to see Squall was outside of the Garden, having his arm crossed knowing he's taking a fresh air in the middle of the night.

"Squall, how come you're still outside?"

"Just having a fresh air, Irvine..." Squall answered as he asks him. "What about you? Did something happened to Selphie? You told me that you need to warn her about the device earlier."

"Not just about the device, Squall." Irvine grunted sadly. "I'm totally jealous upon seeing a handsome guy like me who is muscular and cleanly shaved. She was madly in love on that guy with just meeting him from computerized dating."

"Really? She was?"

"Yes..." Irvine said in disappointment as Squall informs him about the Valentine's Dance at Sunday night.

"There's going to have a Valentine's Dance at Sunday, Irvine. I know for sure all the guys at the Garden, would love to waltz all over the stage. How can I think about if Rin and I we always dance around the corner?"

"You're still the lucky guy as ever, Squall." Irvine remarked nicely. "I think tomorrow, I'll definitely catch that bastard in whoever tries to make a prey on teenage girls like Sefie."

As Irvine gets inside the Garden, Squall watches him and realizing how trouble he is for tonight.

_Preying on teenage girls, huh? Hmmm, I guess he needs my help._


	3. Investigations in Two Cities

_**Mission 2: **_Investigations in Two Cities

The next day, Irvine observes most of the students in Balamb Garden including his friends at Edea's Orphanage. Due to his lack of sleep, he yawns until he noticed the female Balamb students are getting lovestruck over their new boyfriends since everybody is talking about it.

"Say ladies, what's the gossip happening?"

"I kinda miss a man named Rob. He's such a dream boat."

"Same as Jarod..."

"Are you girls kidding me? These guys you told me are from the matchmaking device?" Irvine reacted in a comical tone as the two girls walk away while being love struck over the man they found on the device. He then immediately came to visit Selphie and her friends from the Garden committee. "Yo, Sefie... have you noticed half of the female students are getting crazy over their computer dates?"

To his horrible shock, Selphie was love struck over the man she had met yesterday as well as her friends.

"Uhhh, I'm sorry Irvine... I kept thinking about Dorian, he's so dreamy..."

"That Dorian guy's a fraud. You can't be crazy over a guy you thought he was dreamy. I'd never seen you girls are getting love struck like the rest of them." Irvine reacted angrily as Selphie shows a ring on her finger as well as her friends.

"Check it out... they gave us the charm rings."

"You girls are totally out of your mind...! You can't make head over heels over with just a single date."

"We gotta go, Irvine..."

"Our soul mates are waiting for us there."

"Oh come on, Sefie..." Irvine said sadly in disappointment.

While walking to the hallway, he noticed the male Balamb students are having problems to find a partner for the Valentine's dance as he mumbled.

"This is weird... how come all of the guys like us are having problems to find a partner for the Valentine's Dance? Did Squall knew of all this?"

As he observes to see them upset as he annoyingly speaks to himself.

"Dang! As a ladykiller, I have to be good with the ladies. But this is turning into a free for all chaos, WAHHH!"

"You keep saying that you're being murderous to women, Irvine."

Irvine immediately froze as Squall was in front of him while in a Balamb cadet uniform, remarking him about being murderous to women as he jokily breaks the ice.

"Squall... ahahaha, I'm not murderous to the girls. I'm just getting annoyed after seeing the girls are getting love struck over their computer dates. Even Sefie is too..."

"Wait, are you saying that Selphie is..."

"She even showed me a ring on her finger. I'd like to beat that bastard who gave her the ring into a pulp." Irvine said knowing how jealous he was as Squall noticed some of the male Balamb students are having problems to find a partner for the Sunday's dance as he suspiciously thought.

_So this is what Headmaster Cid was telling me about this morning. These guys including my classmates are getting problems in finding a partner for the dance. This is getting suspicious._

"Irvine... we have to rendezvous each other at the dorms." Squall said telling him which Irvine ponders.

"You mean at your room..."

"Come on, let's go..."

At the single room within the Dormitory, Irvine and Squall are discussing about the informant he had spoken two days ago and knowing that a culprit was behind for putting the matchmaking device at Balamb Town.

"I see... so she told you about a man who is preying over many women. That was sexual harassment."

"I know that... I wanted to investigate who is responsible for making all the girls into zombie chicks who is head over heels with the guys from the computer dates." Irvine said becoming terrified about the current situation as Squall tells him.

"Looks like our enemy seems to target on women. I'd like to help you on this, but Rin is waiting for me at Timber in the afternoon."

"It's really hard when your schedules are getting conflict." Irvine said became dismayed due to their scheduling conflicts as he gets his things by pressing a button to reveal a box of gadgets which had kept on him. "I'm glad I keep these special things in handy whenever I take some field exams before I graduated in Galbadia Garden."

"Hmmm... we don't have this more often." Squall said while he tried looking at Irvine with binoculars.

"To be honest, that binoculars your using it has an X-Ray mode. This is how we sharpshooters used this to find the right target on the enemy."

"This is interesting... I can give you some coordinates in getting through the satellite in Dollet." Squall smiled nicely to his friend and decides to gave him the location. "When we revisited that place for the second time. I know the same spider machine who almost got me in the field exam was used to block the mountain path."

"Oh, I know that too..."

"When we tried getting in there, sneaking the guard was enough because he cramped his leg. Just like my dad did if he encountered somebody." Squall said while he continued to explain the details. "You will see the large satellite within their base if you continue onward."

"All right, Squall. I got your coordinates... and I'll give you more details about the culprit behind this mess once I go to both Timber and Dollet." Irvine said as he reveals the video camera.

"That video camera belongs to Selphie. When did you get it?" Squall said finally questioned him in how he got the video camera.

"They left the video camera before they walked out on me. At least it was in a full battery." Irvine answered with a smile on his face which Squall seriously smirks on him.

"Just gave me more information about the culprit, okay. I'll be waiting for it..."

"Yeah..."

At Timber, Irvine finally begins to investigate alone to find the culprit behind for charming most girls from Balamb Garden. To his surprise a man was trying show around on one of the Balamb students at the Timber Maniacs Office as he horribly mumbles.

"This guy is definitely knew this city. But what's he saying..."

"This is the place where they published some latest magazine in it's main office. Also includes the girl from the magazine is just like you."

"Oh, Hilbert... your description is too shabby."

"That guy's a cheesy smooth talker. You tried to compare the girl that I read on a naughty magazine."

"I need to go, sweetie. I got lot of schedules I must do."

"Oh yes... is it okay if you were invited at the dance on Sunday?"

As soon as they parted ways, Irvine finally decides to make a move as he simply whistles while covering his eyes with his cowboy hat as he drops a ball that resembles a chewable gum when he stepped on. He takes a video camera to see that he hides around the alleyway and transforms, much to his shock. The man transforms the ideal boyfriend that Selphie was hanging out.

"That guy transforms into that Dorian guy. Two face guys are trying to deceive these girls." Irvine looked to see his tracker and knowing the target goes to the train station leads to Dollet. "So he goes to Dollet, well then. Time to follow this son of a bitch..."

At Dollet, Irvine follows the man's tracks and he goes to the Dollet Hotel for the art expedition which he mumbles about the entire scenario in Timber.

"If Squall was saying that he almost got killed by a giant robo spider in Dollet, how could he manages to get down from a moving train in Timber? Probably, when Rinoa was asking him to hack most of the trains' coordinates within their first assignment with the Timber Owls resistance by using codes. He's quite a daredevil when I first met him and his friends at Galbadia Garden."

As he enters to the Dollet Hotel, he was met again by Jesse who is waiting for her bandmates.

"It's Mr. Irvine... what are you doing here?"

"Shhh... keep your voice down. I'm hunting for this guy..." Irvine tries to keep her quiet as he uses the binoculars and clicks it to become in X-Ray mode.

He was surprised to see that the man named Hilbert and transforms into Dorian are one of the same person as Selphie hugs him romantically.

"I can't believe this... how come this guy is two timing on one of the Balamb students AND Sefie?"

"Is something going on, Mr. Irvine?"

"You were right about what you informed me. This looker was trying to prey the girls by seducing them with his charms. I've already seen him transform into something else in Timber." Irvine said becoming serious of what he had seen.

"Is that true?"

"Positive..." Irvine said in a serious tone finally confirming on the informant's suspicions.

Inside the train from Timber leads to Deling City, Squall and Rinoa are looking the entire view of the Galbadian continent. Rinoa smiles to see him getting serious and she worriedly asked him.

"You look pretty bothered, Squall?"

"I'm worried for Irvine because of the personal mission that he's got into." Squall answered in a calm tone.

"What personal mission?"

"Rinoa, it was personal for us men. A lot of my classmates in Balamb Garden are having a serious problem in finding a partner for the dance." Squall stated while he seriously facing her. "The worst case is, a lot of female students including Selphie are getting love struck over the men they meet on the matchmaking device that I destroyed at Balamb Town."

"Really? How come the girls are stoop so low about this?" Rinoa reacted annoyingly and became dismayed after learning about Irvine's personal mission as Squall tells her in a sigh.

"I don't know, only me and Irvine are dealing this problem too. Headmaster Cid had recently told me about this earlier."

As soon as they were done looking at the art expedition, both noticed they were done already and Dorian wants to say goodbye to Selphie.

"Okay then, missy. I promise I'll show you some lots of paintings around in this town."

"I can totally dig that. I can't wait to become a partner for the dance on Sunday." Selphie smiled flirtatiously as the guy giving him some smooch on her cheek causing her to faint.

Irvine became getting angry even further after he gave her a big smooch on Selphie's cheek while clenching his fists only for Jesse to calm him down.

"Chill out... it was only just a smooch."

Irvine immediately chases the guy as he opens the video camera to see what he find out. To his shock, he went to the men's room so that he can transform into someone else an ideal guy.

"This is getting haywire..."

Outside of Dollet Hotel, Irvine decides to find the cause of the man's transformation as Jesse arrives to see him.

"I might help you track this guy for you, Mr. Irvine. What are you planning to do next?"

"I'm going to the large satellite that Squall was talking about." Irvine said knowing of his mission.

"You mean the cool guy with a scar on his face."

"Yes." Irvine said as one of the Galbadian guards are guarding other side of the road. "He already gave me the coordinates in getting to their base already."

"I think he takes the train station leads to Deling City. I'll do whatever I can to help before my bandmates will arrive very soon."

"Thanks so much..."

"Here's the photo of this guy. I know it was strange but he was the one behind all this." Jesse said as she goes to track the man at the train station leads to Deling.

"He's a total handsome looking all right."

"According to one of the citizens from Deling, this guy is awfully rejected by a student from Balamb."

"Ah, it's pretty obvious. Anywhere in the Garden has school rules. You can have these romantic relationship if you reach in 20 once the Garden higher staffs will released you from the Garden." Irvine chuckled knowing of his motives and he tells her. "I had to go..."

"You can use that photo I gave you, Mr. Irvine... these soldiers knew him." Jesse shouted as they parted ways as Irvine angrily mutters after seeing the guy gave Selphie a smooch on her cheek.

"I'll stop catching you for the time being, you creepy casanova. I'm gonna find your stash."


	4. A Satellite Infiltration

_**Mission 3: **_A Satellite Infiltration

Irvine finally shows a photo of a handsome-looking man as the guard recognized who he is as he knew they can see from his eyes. He allows him to go to the mountain path to pass through. On the way, he saw a giant robot spider that resembles the X-ATM092 as he mumbled.

"So this is what Squall was saying about. But this is the second robo spider who blocks this mountain path. I know we can't enter just because you soldiers asked for it."

Irvine then wields his shotgun as he tried to find the weak spot as he tries to aim. He remembers the time, he couldn't kill the sorceress because he got choked and is unwilling to kill people as he remarked himself while trying to concentrate his aim.

"I know normal ammos wouldn't work on this. Luckily, Quisty just hits this thing with a gatling gun to take it down just to rescue Squall from getting killed. Perhaps, this ammo would put this one out."

Irvine then shoots the spider with his Limit Break Shot by using the Pulse Ammo and it broke through as it explodes into smithereens. He was amused that he dispersed the blockade as he proceeded to the satellite main base. With the song "Motor Head" has been played. It was heavily guarded by Galbadian soldiers as Irvine lets out of sigh to see them until he found a rope which is used for climbing.

"Okay this creepy smooth talker actually able to sneak in this place. He used this to climb over the spider got blocked in. I'd never seen Squall, Zell and Selphie could even infiltrated this entire place due to their field exams."

Two Galbadian guards noticed Irvine's presence and tries to warn him not to get inside.

"What's business do you have here? Are you the ones who destroyed our hidden weapon? And is not permitted for the SeeD mercenaries to enter."

"You soldiers are bunch of idiots... Have you seen this looker on the photo?" Irvine remarked badly as he showed the photo as the two soldiers recognized him.

"I know that man... he just sneaked through this main base in order to connect through the satellite. But we can only look on his eyes."

"Can you show me the evidence? I'd like to know..."

As they allowed Irvine to enter and through the elevator, Irvine just found a laptop was connected over to the satellite using a wireless router and has wrists gadgets used to download.

"So this guy used to download himself by posing all these hookers to seduce the ladies. What kind of a motive he was doing this?" Irvine discovers the culprit was using the laptop to make a download as one of the Galbadian soldier had found something.

"I've never seen a human tube within the satellite. How come someone would even put this one out?"

"Hold your horses... I think that tube is used to download his main disguises. It appears that he put these download from his own gadget." Irvine said realizing the culprit's true motive as he remembers what the informant just said. "Like Jesse says, she had saw a helicopter passing through and that means. He just a parked a helicopter somewhere in town."

"The only parking place for the helicopter is in Dollet Hotel which was on the roof."

Irvine does his best to take a video camera about the evidence he had found so that he can show it to Squall and now decides to hunt the culprit down as the tracking device was lighted up and it was called by Jesse.

"What's up?"

"I found him, he was trying to test his driving skills at the Rent-A-Car in Deling City. How long can you get there?"

"I'll get there, post haste. I just found many evidence in this satellite."

As Irvine hung up as the Galbadian soldier gave him the laptop as an evidence since the batteries of the computer was operational.

"We maybe despising about the SeeD mercenaries for entering here. Take this laptop, It belongs to the photo you showed it to us."

"Thanks, now if you excuse me. I have some hunting to do." Irvine said thankfully to the soldiers as he leaves.

At Deling City with the song "Get that Funky Music" has been played, Irvine hides at the back of the Rent-A-Car as the culprit is with a female Balamb student. He became disappointed to see the man's face who looked like a French actor from the movie.

"Okay it's the same guy after transformed into Dorian."

"So, mon chère. What do you say if we go to the park to hang out together?"

"Oui..."

"Shit! I've never seen this bastard could speak French language. Urgh, to be honest Deling City looks a lot like a city of romance." Irvine remarked horribly about the culprit and he saw the tracking device on his feet as he followed it.

At the parkside within the Gateway, Irvine does his best to find the culprit he tries to scope it with his binoculars which is in X-Ray mode. To his surprise, both Squall and Rinoa are having a sweet conversation during their date as he remarked calmly to them.

"I envy you, Squall. You and Rinoa are perfect for each other whenever the two of you are having a sweet talk. Unlike last year, when we rescued her from two living statues at the Presidential Residence, she was so scared and you were pushing her over the edge and became disappointed because she was not ready to fight alone knowingly he was reluctant to follow "her orders"."

Therefore, the culprit is with the Balamb student walking hand in hand as they see each other eye to eye. Irvine noticed they were behind him as he hides through the bushes.

"I like this park and this is the first time I was hanging out with you."

"Don't be worry, mon chère. This is the perfect place for a romantic hangover with just two of us."

"Okay, I feel so disgusted with that creep over her shoulder." Irvine said in annoyance as he clicks the button that resembles earphones, wanting to know about their conversation.

"By the way, mon chère. Do you love massages?"

"I'd never try that before. Why?"

"Because I'm one of the therapist at the spa place at the Galbadia Hotel. I just hope if you can try it."

"Sure... can you take me there?"

As soon as the couple leave the scene, Irvine was totally dismayed after hearing of their conversations.

"This guy is suckering girls all over Balamb Garden. So that's why all the guys like me and Squall are having problems to find a partner for the dance."

Irvine finally gets out of the bushes and became upset after seeing Selphie was given smooches by that culprit and he closes his eyes while putting both of his two index fingers in a form of a cross and yells it out.

"I know it's bad if get carried away from being so jealous to Sefie by giving some smooches. How come a man like me would never gave me all of these. I want to have a nice girlfriend, you tried to break my heart, just wreck it for me, Hyne. Can you even break my family jewels Hyne, please! I maybe a ladykiller who keeps attracted to the girls! Because I'M A VIRGIN!"

"Hey, young lad! Are you stating that you murder some girl around?" The old lady hears his yelling as Irvine froze when the comical music background has been played until he emotionally screams.

"GAHHHH!"

All of the people including both Squall and Rinoa overhear his scream and he immediately stands up and realizing it was coming from him.

"Squall, did you hear someone screaming at the park?"

"I heard it too, Rin. It sounds like Irvine..."

"Irvine? You mean he was in Deling City too." Rinoa said knowing of his presence as Squall tells her.

"We'd better find him. He must be in the park side too."

As the couple tried to find Irvine and to their surprise. Irvine was confronted by an old lady after being mistaken as a serial killer.

"Look old lady... this is not what you think? You're completely misunderstood."

"All right, you jerk... where are your manners? You just said that you were trying to kill some woman around here." The old lady wants to battle Irvine who tries to stop her from being scolded.

"Hold on a second, old lady. It was a misunderstanding, really? But sorry I had some good o'll hunting to catch."

With no other options, Irvine quickly runs away as the old lady continued to scowl at him.

"You'd better get back this instant, young lad! Murdering a person is a heinous crime!"

As they watched the entire scene, Rinoa became curious about Irvine's actions and she ponders about the old lady's words.

"Squall, does Irvine had made such a crime?"

"He never kills anybody, Rin." Squall answered as he shakes his head in disappointment while telling her about him. "He got himself froze when he was completely mistaken by anybody including me for being a serial killer to women."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

Irvine managed to escape from the old lady and became exhausted as he was in front of a Galbadia Hotel as he looked on the tracker. The culprit was present inside and decides to spy on them but became dismayed when he said these words.

"I just hoped Squall would never hear of what I just yelled at. All right, you creepy jackass. It's time to stop your funny business with these two women and Sefie."

With that, Irvine proceeds to enter Galbadia Hotel to locate and track the culprit.


	5. Spying on the Hot Bliss

**A/N: **Sometimes if you were a ladies' man who loves to attract women, it's going to be much more daring. I have reasons why I put this rated into T because this next chapter comes with more dirty and incestuous jokes will be occur in the story and more romantic stuff would even takes place. The authors in this section also crafted the pairings of both Yaoi and Yuri to make a pair in a same sex relationship if either a man or a woman. And take note, like Seifer mentions about the Kagura Mutsuki from the BlazBlue game, Irvine would mention about Litchi Faye-Ling. All right here is the fourth chapter of this story.

_**Mission 4: **_Spying on the Hot Bliss

Inside the Galbadia Hotel, Irvine shows the ID to the clerk manager of the hotel which happens to be on a spa place.

"I see, you may go in. If you were a Galbadian civilian it has a privilege to go any facilities within the spa section."

"Gee, thank you very much." Irvine said thankfully and bows and seeing that he's gonna hunt the culprit as he goes inside the spa.

As Irvine goes inside, both Squall and Rinoa are there as well when Rinoa shows the card which it belongs to her father General Caraway and the card of her own.

"You may proceed..."

"Here inside the spa section at this hotel. Their massages were great. You'd never try it before, Squall." Rinoa explains about the spa section making the latter flustered about this.

"Uhhh, I haven't tried that."

"Don't be worry... it's gonna relax your muscles. I know your job as a commander was pretty rough, you need to relax a little bit." Rinoa said convincing him as Squall turns around having his arm crossed knowing he was too shy to see him revealing.

"I hate if they showed my skin to all of them, Rin. It's embarrassing to get inside... Not like in the tournament that my dad had made."

"Before we're gonna do these massages. I think relaxing in the mix bath would be good enough." Rinoa stated nicely as Squall's cheeks became rosier and he annoyingly reacts while facing her.

"Are you serious? A mix bath?"

"Don't be sensitive, Squall... a few guys actually enter inside the mix bath, haha." Rinoa laughed at his face as she happily drags him. "Now, come on... they can't even see you looking like this."

"Rinoa... don't drag me off like this..."

At the mixed bath section, all of the girls are seen in a pink towels that resembles a strapless mini dress. Irvine was seen in a purple towel on his waist as his long hair was covered in a purple shower cap as he excitedly mumbles.

"Wow! This is the first time to see the ladies to show off their skin. Not like when we transported in a different world, we fought a head nurse in a stick who had a very large ta-tas."

Irvine became amused as he only brings both his telescope and a gadget resembles a wireless earphone as he said to himself.

"Now, where the hell is that bastard."

At the private jacuzzi, Squall was relaxing at the private warm pool and realizing that Rinoa was right. He saw a few men around in the mix bath and he can also see are many women at the facility as he thought.

_She was right about the mix bath. I can only see a few men around here. But most of them are women. I took a brief shower to get inside this facility to relax._

To his dismay, he had forgotten to close the door as he shakes his head in disappointment as he thought.

_Dang! I forgot to close the door if I had to relax inside of this private jacuzzi. I guess Rin just prepared for our rooms to do these massages._

Squall sensed someone's presence and to his shock a person in topless just passed by and he became shooed to see this.

_How come a woman in topless just pass by in this spa facility? Is she crazy to expose herself?" _

When he looked closely, and it reveals to be a man which is Irvine who still continues to hunt the culprit at the facility with the song "Sexy Lady" has been played.

_No doubt about it, it was Irvine... What is he doing here in the spa facility too? Alright, I think it's best to follow him. I can't even forget of what Seifer had called me before, "a guy who reaches puberty". _

Squall raises his brow after seeing Irvine walks away to hunt the culprit continuously as goes off to get his towel to dry and cover himself and it zooms to where Irvine continues to spy the entire facility while trying to look at the girls. He sits down and wait as he heard the girl's voice became flirtatious over the culprit.

"The girl's voice... the culprit must be there."

Irvine tries to walk continuously to find the culprit, unaware that it was Squall who pursue him. Irvine finally sits down as he clicks the button on the earphone to over hear their conversation which is a little far behind him.

"Oh, Darien... this foot exfoliation is dream on."

"Not as dream on as you, my little miss appetite."

"Uhhhh..."

"This guy is totally horny." Irvine remarked in disdain as he stands up. "He suckering all the girl students and now this. That was uncalled for."

Irvine gritted angrily after hearing of their sweet talk until someone attempted to pull off the towel on his waist as he covers himself.

"HEY! Who dares to pull my towel off! A ladykiller like myself would never get embarrassed to see me naked!"

"Who's saying you were a lady killer?"

"Gah! Oh no!" Irvine horribly gasped to see Squall in a white towel and he was the one who attempted to pull the towel on his waist. "Ahem, This ain't funny, Squall... pulling the towel off like that."

"What are you doing at the spa facility? Don't tell me that you keep peeping over the girls in there?" Squall said in a smirk while teasing him and Irvine reacts to his words while his face is bright red.

"I'm not peeping over the girls, alright. I was tracking down the culprit."

"So the culprit was here..."

"All right, since I'll give you the details about this jackass. He was the one who sneaks through the satellite so that he would download the internet to form a disguise as the girls' computerized boyfriends." Irvine said finally tells Squall the whole details. "Basically, I just saw him how he transformed."

"You can't be serious..." Squall reacted shockingly as Irvine continues to say more details.

"That matchmaking device we saw at Balamb Town and you destroyed it, That device was brought here by helicopter. I really like to beat the hell out of the bastard for giving Selphie a big smooch at the Dollet Hotel."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"Don't worry, Squall. I had lots of evidence that you can see. But right now, I'm listening on what they were talking about. I'm getting disgusted about their cheesy love talk." Irvine grunted in disappointment which he smiles to see him jealous as he reveals it.

"Irvine, I was wondering if you were getting jealous because of Selphie, Am I right."

"Yeah... and how would you guess?" Irvine said sadly as Squall calmly tells him.

"I hate to bother some of your personal affairs. I easily noticed about your actions. Your hands are shaking which is filled with anger and rage."

"..."

"You really liked Selphie so much, Irvine... I finally understand you were getting jealous to her. You like to be her partner for the dance. That's why you'd like to protect her."

"You're pretty smart, Squall. You were a lucky guy after all who got a girl in his pocket. But not like me, I like to hang out with many women these days just to woo them. I kinda like it if Sefie is with me."

"It's kinda funny when you keep yelling things in public."

"!?"

Squall tries to get his binoculars which is in X-Ray mode as he looked on to see the culprit is about to give her a ring and to his shock it was one of the students in Balamb Garden.

"Okay, mon chère. Allow me to give you a nice present, here it is."

The man gives her the present which is an expensive gem ring much to her surprise.

"I will allow it, Oui..."

"This is uncalled for... one of my classmates being romantically engaged by this guy." Squall reacted angrily and finally discovers the culprit's motives as Irvine tells him.

"I told you Squall... that bastard was suckering all the girls including Sefie from your Garden. I see it from my own two eyes."

"This guy needs to be stopped." Squall said becoming serious after learning of the culprit's motives until Rinoa arrives to see them in a pink towel like the other girls.

"What are you guys were saying about suckering all the girls?"

Both men were surprised to see her and her hair was covered in a towel as the comical music background has been played upon seeing her.

"Hello, Rinoa... you look so gorgeous on your..." Irvine greets her in a flirtatious tone only to be punch in the head by Squall because of their current relationship.

"Could you shut your mouth, Irvine?!"

"Don't you know any gadgets in the facility are not allowed inside?" Rinoa said trying to scold them about the spa rules which causes Irvine to choke.

"Uhhh... She doesn't know what were doing?"

"We better get through our separate rooms, Rin. We'll talk about this later." Squall immediately drags Rinoa back to the separate rooms they prepared for them as he looked at Irvine. "You can come along with us, Irvine."

"Huh? Me?" Irvine said while pointing to himself as he gets the binoculars to look at the couple and he finds out that the rings are from the jewelry store in Deling City as he goes with both Squall and Rinoa.

Few hours later, this is how Irvine showed the both of them about the evidence as he shows the video camera in which the culprit had transformed into a different guy as they finally wear their sleeping attire.

"This is the first time I've seen this guy can transform into another person. And all of this was downloaded in the internet." Rinoa said as she watches the evidence on the video tape.

"This guy can even change in different faces. They have alternate names too if you don't asked me." Irvine said while lowering his head as Squall noticed how the culprit can get through the satellite.

"He must be very athletic... I can't believe that he can easily get through the satellite not like us."

"Come on, you two... you have to tell me something about the guy you were searching?"

"That culprit is the one who prey most of the girls by seducing them with his charms. He even give Sefie a smooch from him." Irvine grunted in disgust.

"That was terrible..."

"How come Selphie would be stoop so low on that guy? She was a SeeD mercenary like us and ended up getting deceived by his advances." Squall sneered coldly over the culprit's actions.

"I know she would get angry if I warned her about this." Irvine said becoming depressed over the situation as Squall rebuffs him.

"You need to tell her the truth, Irvine."

"..."

As Irvine leaves them, Rinoa was upset to see him as she looked at Squall who is serious upon learning of the culprit's actions.

"I know you're still worried for Irvine."

"Rin, we have to help him. I know he was desperate to find the culprit alone. We can always lend him a helping hand."

"Right... I can help him."

Outside, Irvine was worried for Selphie after seeing her getting madly in love with the culprit as Squall calls him.

"Irvine..."

"Huh? Oh... you two." Irvine looked to see the couple as Rinoa decides to help him in his personal mission.

"I can help you on your problems, Irvine."

"Just say something, I know you wanted to say more about the evidence we had seen on the room we checked in." Squall calmly convinces him to tell him as he reveals it.

"About the gem rings, they were from Deling City's jewelry store and I saw it on its box. Also, I had a photo given to me by my informant."

Irvine shows the photo to both Squall and Rinoa and she recognizes the man.

"I know this man... he is the son of the jewelry store! Is he the one behind this mess?"

"She even tell me about that guy's shitty life. This guy was awfully rejected by a female student from Balamb Garden." Irvine said in dismay as Squall became angered upon learning of the culprit's actions.

"He's out of his mind! Didn't he know the school rules at the Garden?"

However, a man leaves and the trio hides as he transforms into the handsome guy in his real appearance as he mutters in a sinister tone.

"Those ladies are a bunch of fools... getting invited on the dance. Not to worry, I'll have my revenge on all of you. Haha..."

As the man leaves the hotel, Rinoa was shocked to hear his sinister words as both Squall and Irvine were infuriated by this.

"Irvine, I think it's about time to put this guy down."

"I agree with you, Squall. I'd like to put that bullshit in my own two hands."

"Maybe it's best if we go to the jewelry store tomorrow. That way, we can confront him."

"So he's the one who caused problems with my classmates at the Garden. If we see that guy again, don't expect any mercy." Squall gritted coldly as the two seemingly agreed to his word.

With that, the couple now join forces to assist Irvine to deal against the culprit and the hunt begins.


	6. Discovering the Real Culprit

_**Mission 5:**_ Discovering the Real Culprit

The next day at the Shopping District at Deling City, Rinoa goes inside the jewelry store to find out the real culprit as both Squall and Irvine watch her go. He gave him the extra wireless earphone so that they can hear their conversations from the inside and looks at the weather.

"This weather is gonna take 10 more days to clear up the entire sky."

"I've never seen this thing can wear it on your ear. Looks like Galbadia Garden's weapons were extraordinary than ours." Squall wondered about the earphone that Irvine gave him which he tells him how it works.

"It's simple, just click at the center of this earphone and you will hear their conversations from the inside. Not like last night at the spa, I definitely overhear their cheesy love talk."

Inside the jewelry store, Rinoa was impressed about the jewelries are being in display and remembering the times her father goes in there to buy it for her mother Julia Heartilly as she saw the owner of the store.

"Well well well... if isn't the general's daughter. What brings you here today?"

"Your jewelries are quite amazing. By the way, how come there's a backpack under the display?" Rinoa smiled as she points the backpack as the owner noticed it belongs to his son.

"Well it belongs to my son. How could he left his bag at the very least?"

"Can you tell me of your son's name, sir. I wanna know." Rinoa said wanting to know who that person is as he tells her.

"His name is Malcolm. I keep asking him so many times about what he was doing these days."

At the wall side, both Squall and Irvine overhearing their conversation which he reacted upon learning the guy's name.

"So this guy is named Malcolm... No wonder why he was pretty handsome to many women. Unlike us we're just youthful teenagers who trained as mercenaries and showing nice to the women we made friends with."

"Don't compare to that guy, Irvine." Squall said scolding him as he feels envy after hearing their conversation. "I've never seen this guy would even deceive Selphie and the rest of the female students from his advances."

"It's kinda rough to see Malcolm would acting differently these days. He wasn't moving on after being rejected by a female student from Balamb Garden."

"Wait... can you tell me about what happened to your son? I know my friends are actually from Balamb Garden too and they really want to know about this." Rinoa said became intrigued about the story which the owner finally tells her.

"I think it was four years ago. Malcolm is interested to that girl who studies at Balamb Garden and she was very pretty in person. They are always dating every single night whenever they meet."

"It reminds me of how Seifer and I had a previous relationship before I broke up with him and the first time I met Squall and his group of SeeD mercenaries." Rinoa said remembering about the previous years.

"Until one day, when he was ready to propose the woman with an engagement ring. The Garden Faculties discovered their relationship and that student ended up in suspension. He'd like to make up to her but she breaks up with him because of the school rules at the Garden."

As they overhear their conversation, both became saddened about hearing the story.

"I guess he couldn't stand up to the Garden rules." Irvine wondered sadly as Squall lowers his head in disappointment.

"She maybe suspended because of their relationship and breaking the curfew. I know the strict hours at the Dormitory."

"After the break up, Malcolm was acting strange differently. I tried to tell him to move on, but he couldn't. When I was about to close this jewelry store, I noticed something was wrong with him. He'd like to have vengeance against the Garden Faculities from Balamb Garden for ruining their relationship. He clearly wants to have it."

"That was awful..."

"I heard there was a youngest commander of this Garden. I'd like to talk to him in how to deal against my own son. I heard he's already became a SeeD last year."

"Are you talking about Squall?" Rinoa said realizing that the owner was looking for Squall.

As Rinoa leaves the jewelry store, both Irvine and Squall came to see her and wants to know the entire conversation.

"How's the conversation?"

"The conversation was fine, Irvine." Rinoa answered as she gazes on Squall. "The owner of the jewelry store wants to talk to you, Squall?"

"Me?"

Inside the jewelry shop, this is how the owner of the shop tells them the entire story as Squall was interested to know more of it.

"So that explains it... he keeps visiting the Garden to see her despite of the school rules. Basically, I was still a cadet at that time when this incident happened."

"Oh, I see..."

"Can you show me the backpack? I know I'm curious just because we were investigating about your son and his actions." Squall said nicely to the owner as it showed his son's backpack and Irvine sees the papers which was opened on the bag.

"How come Sefie's name was on the list?"

"It looks like a lists of girls from Balamb Garden all right." Rinoa said confirming about the lists as Irvine gritted his teeth knowing that his revenge was personal.

"That Malcolm wannabe's revenge is nothing more but to seduce the girls for his personal vendetta not just the staffs from the Garden. What's got on his mind?"

Squall finally noticed that his revenge was to break the girls' hearts by breaking them up as he faces them both.

"He wanted to break the girls' hearts by dumping them. What a shame that he would pull off this ridiculous vengeance over them?"

"I didn't know he can do something like this."

"Sir, I think you need to see this. The Galbaldian flunkies just gave me this laptop at the satellite's main site of Dollet so that you would know it." Irvine said finally shows the laptop belongs to his son. To their discovery, Malcolm was actually disguising himself by transforming into the girls' ideal men.

"Oh my highness! How could Malcolm would do such a thing? This is madness..." The owner was horribly shocked and angers both Squall and Irvine for seeing his true motives.

"Squall, what's going to happen now? The Valentine's Dance would be held tomorrow night." Rinoa said worriedly as Squall sighs in disgust.

"That guy is a piece of bullshit. He is preying on teenage girls just to get their hearts be broken by him. We have to stop him before he would engage his plot of revenge. Just like what I'd seen on the spa too."

"Please, you must stop Malcolm or much worse if the girls might ended up in depression. I beg of you..." The owner requests Squall to apprehend his son over his actions.

"All right... We're gonna deal with him, sir. Not to worry, his motives of revenge is not gonna last long."

"Oh, thank you..."

Back at Balamb Garden, the trio returned after they travel between the two cities as Zell came to see them.

"Squall, Irvine, Rinoa... Gladly, you came back. Something's going on at the hallway. The girls are falling in line about some dating booth."

Both Squall and Irvine immediately rushed to the hallway, much to Zell's surprise and Rinoa knows how trouble is going on inside. As they arrived at the hallway, they see a matchmaking device which all of the girls are falling in line and became dismayed upon seeing this.

"This is getting out of hand."

"Hey, ladies! Would you step out of this device?! It's gonna ruin your lives if you keep relying on the dating booths!" Squall said in a serious tone and orders them to keep away from the device as he wields his gunblade and immediately destroys it using Fated Circle on the matchmaking device and they were surprised to see him destroying the device in explosion.

"Commander, why?"

"There was a prime suspect doing all of this mess. But I believe he would be going at the Valentine's Dance tomorrow night. I warned you, this guy is dangerous..." Squall said informing them about the Malcolm who is the real culprit behind the seductions of the female students as he disguised as a man in a black mask to keep away.

"I had to warn Sefie about this right now. That guy is a predator..." Irvine said as he leaves to warn Selphie.

As his plan stops because of them, Malcolm was enraged to see them as he stated to himself.

"Those young lads are ruining my plans. I'm gonna make them pay for it."


	7. Scuffles at the Garden

_**Mission 6: **_Scuffles at the Garden

"Those young lads are ruining my plans. I'm gonna make them pay for it."

Malcolm sees Irvine went to the Training Center to warn Selphie about his seductions and plans to target him first. As all of the girls are about to leave at the Training Center, Selphie cleans up her nunchucks as Irvine arrives to see her.

"Hey, Irv... you look in hurry?"

"Sefie, I have to talk to you..." Irvine panted which she gave him some water.

"What do you want to talk about? I need to get back at the dorms for the dance tomorrow night."

"It's about your soul mate, He's trying to prey you and the rest of the girls at this Garden." Irvine said trying to warn Selphie about Malcolm who disguised himself as their ideal boyfriend.

"..."

"This is a very crisis situation, Sefie." Irvine stated until Selphie remarks about his actions.

"I think you were jealous, Irv... You still wanna stop me for going with Dorian."

"That Dorian guy's a faker... Are you blind?" Irvine reacted angrily at Selphie who coldly replies to him.

"Sorry, Irvine... I had to get back to the dorms right now. I don't wanna be wait for Dorian at the dance tomorrow."

As Selphie leaves, Irvine lowers his head in disappointment and he did his best to warn her about Malcolm as he sadly mumbles.

"I'm sorry, Squall... I did my best to tell her the truth but she never listen. Perhaps, I should stop acting like a ladykiller just for a little while."

"A lady killer? Don't you mean yourself a murderer?"

"Gah!" Irvine froze for a moment he was mistaken as a murderer when a comical music background has been played until he manages to dodge some darts. "A blow dart."

Malcolm faces the latter who dodges the hit and he sarcastically faces him.

"You young lads are not worthy to be with their sweetest dreams. Better to dispose of you first."

Malcolm shoots blow darts at Irvine who dodges most of them, he laughs maniacally until Irvine shoots the rock he had stepped on with his shotgun causing him to fall down to the ground.

"All right, you creeper. I know that you're the one who got recognized by those Galbadian flunkies. Not just the face but your eyes." Irvine grinned angrily to see Malcolm on the ground while wielding his shotgun and realizing how tough these cadets or mercenaries at the Garden as he silently mutters.

"This young lad looks tough... I need to regroup right away."

When Irvine is about to battle him, he quickly disappears and became dismayed after he escaped.

"That bastard... I'd never thought he was on the Garden."

At Headmaster Cid's office, Squall immediately informs Cid about the culprit who's preying on the female students.

"I see that's the time when the Garden Faculty were present before this Garden became mobile. This is the first time another incident takes places here."

"I already warn the girls to stay away from that strange device. I already destroyed these two devices in a row." Squall said in an icy tone as Nida arrives to see them.

"Headmaster sir and you too commander... I saw the man in black just passed through the hallway."

"What was that?" Squall reacted upon learning that Malcolm was indeed present at the Garden.

"..."

At the cafeteria that night, Irvine was still depressed after Selphie didn't listen to his warnings while eating his dinner as the cafeteria lady informs him.

"Hey, it's gonna close at nine. You'd better get moving."

"Yeah, sure..." Irvine replies sadly and seeing he was depressed.

Before the cafeteria lady would ask what's wrong with him, Malcolm attacks them by squeezing them with a glue as both dodges as his cowboy hat was knocked off after dodging the attack.

"Not you again...!"

Malcolm loves to face Irvine in a fight and it was his strategy to ruin his reputation as Irvine gritted to see him as he informs the cafeteria lady.

"I know everything's quiet. You'd better warn at somebody in whoever is awake, because this cafeteria is going to be a riot."

"Okay..." The cafeteria lady eventually leaves as Malcolm attacks him causing both to have a brawl as Irvine grapples him down to the table.

At the hallway, Squall is about to go back to the dorms to avoid getting a curfew until the cafeteria lady was running away from her life.

_How come the cafeteria lady was running at the hallway? The cafeteria would already be closed by now._

"Commander Squall, I thought you were at the dorms already."

"I should be... what just happened?"

"Your friend was still there at the cafeteria after the man in black just attacked both of us."

"Say what?!" Squall said became horribly surprised to hear from her and realizing that Irvine was in danger as he immediately rushed to the cafeteria.

Back at the cafeteria, Malcolm tries to hit him by squeezing with a glue, Irvine dodges as he pushes the coffee cart directly at him. He attempts to brawl at him but Irvine grapples him down to the ground. Irvine grabs the chair and tries to hit him, but he quickly disappears after being overpowered. Irvine then found the same backpack and the list that he used to victimized the girls including Selphie. Upon realizing that the man in black was really Malcolm as he angrily states.

"Okay, you son of a jackal. If all spares in love, and this means war. I'm not letting you get away with this."

As Irvine stands he accidentally bumps on the steel tray, hurting his head on purpose.

"Gahh! That really...!"

Irvine moves while clutching his head as he faintly collapses into the ground. Squall arrives at the cafeteria and seeing the entire mess and Irvine was knocked unconscious while clutching his head as he calls his name.

"Irvine!"

At Irvine's dream, he remembers the time of the victory celebration where he can woo the ladies as he wants even Quistis is trying to reject his advances and wooing the female students to make Selphie jealous. Irvine soon wakes up and he ends up at the infirmary and was watched by both Squall and Dr. Kadowaki who is about to put a cold compress on his head.

"Here's some cold compress, this will less the swollen from your head."

"Gah! Th-That pretty hurts...!" Irvine grunted in pain as the comical music background has been played.

"You were lucky that your injured head is not serious. But you should be careful next time." Dr Kadowaki said giving Irvine some advice as Squall shakes his head in disappointment as he thought.

_Luckily that the cafeteria lady just helped me carried him to the Infirmary. I've never seen that he had a brawl with someone inside the cafeteria._

"Why did you had a fight in a cafeteria? Didn't you know it's gonna get your consequences on your actions?" Squall said finally scolds Irvine for the brawl as he replies while raises his brow.

"That man in black is really Malcolm. He already snuck upon me twice."

"So Malcolm was here all along. Now I finally understand of why Nida had informed me about he was running away at the hallway earlier." Squall said became surprised to Irvine's words as Dr. Kadowaki recognizes about the culprit.

"That Malcolm fellow you were saying. He's a sneaky one."

"You knew him, Doctor..." Squall wondered as she replies.

"He is able to sneak around the entire Garden just for the woman he had seek. That's when everybody is already sleeping at the Dormitory."

"If he sneaks around at the Garden and that means he's breaking the curfew." Irvine said knowingly of Malcolm's actions.

"Irvine, Headmaster Cid just informed me after we failed to find Malcolm all around in the hallway. He says that this certain person likes to meet us at Balamb Town." Squall said informing him about the person is about to meet them.

"Are you saying about Malcolm's former girlfriend?" Irvine said recognizing about the former student in Balamb Garden which Squall confirms.

"Yes..."

"I knew this will turn out, Owww!" Irvine said eagerly while handling the cold compress given by Dr. Kadowaki as Squall calmly tells him.

"You better get rest here for a while. I'll tell Rinoa to lecture Selphie for being blind and deceived by the enemy tomorrow. It's getting late."

As Squall leaves to the infirmary and gets back at the Dormitory, Dr. Kadowaki gave him some advice.

"You better needs some bed rest, young man. Luckily, both Squall and the cafeteria lady just take you here to treat your head injury."

"Thanks for the advice, doctor... I'd rather be resting here for now." Irvine said thankfully as he decided to stay at the infirmary to rest.

Outside of the Garden, Malcolm uses first aid to treat his injuries. Knowing that his plan is about to engage tomorrow night and he will be waiting for it.


	8. The Woman's Revelation

**A/N: **This is next chapter will be more focus on both Squall and Irvine in dealing against Malcolm who is actually the culprit to prey the female students by making an agony. It's hard to believe this is how the sharpshooter woos on the girl he encounters. Here is the next chapter.

_**Mission 7: **_The Woman's Revelation

The next day before tonight's Valentine's Dance, Selphie was looking for Irvine after what happened last night and Rinoa came to see her because Squall doesn't want to confront her because she would drop his SeeD rank if he would think she was annoying or being blinded by the enemy's deceptions.

"Have you seen Irvine, Rinnie. I'm kinda worried about him."

"Irvine is with Squall."

"Aww! I heard he got himself into a fight and accidentally bumped his head into the steel tray at the cafeteria." Selphie became worried about Irvine's condition as Rinoa finally decides to asked her personality.

"To be honest, Selphie... do you really like that Dorian person?"

"Of course, I like him... Why do you ask?"

"Kinda reminds me when I dated with Seifer a long time ago but it never lasts. Until Squall and I we had a heart to heart together while inside the Ragnarok when he rescued me in space." Rinoa said as she gave her some advice. "Well I know a man would break his heart once you broke him up and your relationship with that person is getting worse."

"..."

"Trust me, Selphie... this is a love advice."

"I understand, Rinoa..."

"Irvine is a nice person, Selphie... Why don't you say this to him? It's really hard if you madly in love with a strange person you did not know." Rinoa smiled at her as she leaves to prepare for tonight's dance.

At the Balamb Harbor, Irvine was talking to Jesse from his tracker and it reveals that she was invited at the dance.

"I see, so this dance event is tonight."

"Yep..."

"By the way, I'm the main vocalist of the band. You like to turn the ballroom into a rock concert." Jesse smiled happily as Irvine happily smirks.

"Absolutely, young lady. It's best if you're gonna make this as a surprise Valentine's gift."

"Hold on, who's the person is gonna give a Valentine's gift?" Jesse asked as Irvine reveals it.

"To the person I used to know... She loves watching the concert."

"Okay then... I'll tell my bandmates about this event. It's going to be rocking tonight." Jesse smiled as Irvine nods in a smile as he hung up.

He was still depressed after last night as Squall came to see him bringing some water to him.

"Who do you talking to, Irvine?"

"It was my informant... she used to be a singer of the band. I'd like this event to be lively." Irvine answered in a nod as he gave him some water.

"Since I'm the commander of Balamb Garden, I would accept that. Even Zell likes to have this party into a lively one."

"So where's the person we had to meet?" Irvine asked him as the woman arrives wearing a red corporate dress and her name was Sara as he woos her. "Wow! Hi there, gorgeous..."

"Hello, you two. I've never seen a young man who is now a SeeD and being appointed as the commander of the Garden." Sara smiled at both of them who were flustered at her appearance.

"Thanks for the compliment... But I already had someone else to be with." Squall smiled thankfully to see her as his face became bright red as Irvine woos her.

"I've never seen that she was pretty in person. Gotta tell us everything, miss."

"Anyway, I keep my connection to Headmaster Cid because I heard some ruckus going on at Balamb Garden." Sara said upon learning about her former boyfriend's mischief.

At the Balamb Hotel, this is how Sara explains to both of them about the entire incident between her and Malcolm.

"It's has been 4 years after I moved on with my life and never talked about Malcolm since. I know for sure, he would never accepts himself for breaking up with him."

"Now tell us, what exactly happened between you and Malcolm? The owner of the jewelry store in Deling City also knew this incident." Squall said finally wanted to know about the entire incident as Sara finally tells them.

"When I'm still a cadet at Balamb Garden it was commonly normal when you lived and trained to become a mercenary until I met Malcolm during the curfew hours. He's a nice guy at first and we always dating with each other at Balamb Town. But because of the school rules at the Garden, I couldn't bear the fact that he was visiting me in secret."

"That's when Dr. Kadowaki was telling us about. He's sneaking through the Dormitory during the end of the curfew." Squall said finally learns of Malcolm's actions as Irvine tells him.

"I saw he used the rope to climb up and get down to the ground. All of his things used for mountain climbing were left behind when I infiltrated alone at the satellite main site in Dollet."

"Because of our relationship, I always follow the rules at the Garden but not personal. Until, one day... when he came back since everyone is already asleep at the Dormitory and that's the time when I practiced my combat training at the Training Center. He wanted the both of us to live together in Deling City and he decided to marry me by presenting the engagement ring. Because of the rules of the Garden, I rejected his proposal knowing that we can't be each other and this how we argue but the Garden Faculties had caught us that resulted for me being suspended."

"I knew I was right, breaking the curfew." Squall said knowing of what happened to her.

"It's because of him... I keep breaking the school rules due to our relationship. So I decided to break up with him. By that time, the Garden staffs allow me to live free on other continents, he came back and wanted to make up for our relationship. But I rejected him long enough. Until this day, I would never expect him not accepting himself to move on with his life and now he's trying to get revenge against me. I shouldn't became serious to him from the very beginning after realizing how selfish he is."

"I guess she was more bitter because she never become a SeeD like you." Irvine commented about the story which Squall wants to know what her age she had met to their current enemy.

"If she was 18 when she meets Malcolm and that means today I was in her present age. I became a SeeD because I passed the exam and became appointed as a commander a year ago. That's when I was being so cold and a loner who's not suited to socialize anybody but focusing the mission at hand."

"I'm so glad that you two understand about my story." Sara smiled to see them both.

"I finally learned how romantic relationship would come and go. I'd love getting hang out with a woman like you." Irvine smiled only to be pinched in an ear by Squall when a comical music background has been played. "Owww!"

"Enough, Irvine... you're beginning to act like a ladykiller again."

"What really? A lady killer?" Sara wondered making Irvine froze as Squall mentions about the word as he apologizes.

"Sorry about Irvine, he's like that when it comes to beautiful women. He can woo any women that he encounters especially to my comrades."

"Haha... I see then. He's really funny when he get froze after being mistaken." Sara laughed at his actions.

"You know Squall, this is the first time you pinched my ear. It really hurts..." Irvine said while clutching his ear in pain which the latter retorts.

"You maybe jealous to Selphie but your antics for being a romanticist really cause a lot of trouble."

"..."

"Well I guess I'll take my leave. Now that you heard my story about my relationship to Malcolm. I want the two of you to teach him a lesson." Sara said and decided to take leave as Irvine asks her one last time.

"Uhm... miss... since you moved on with your life? Did you already had a boyfriend or something?"

"Tee hee, you're being silly. I'm already taken and my fiance is waiting for me at Deling City. See you around..."

When Sara leaves the hotel, Irvine lowers his head in disappointment while Squall was laughing the entire scene.

"She was engaged... What a drag?!"

"It will be alright, Irvine... You could try that later at the Valentine's Dance." Squall said giving him some encouragement.

"You maybe right... the Valentine's Dance was tonight."

Back at Balamb Garden, the Valentine's Dance was held at the Ballroom as most of the students are surprised that they're gonna wear formal outfits besides the SeeD uniform.

"Luckily, they let the guys are gonna wear formal attires."

"I can't wait to dance with you, Zell." The library girl smiles at him.

At the Ballroom, the Garden Festival committee are preparing for the Valentine's Dance as both Squall and Irvine are observing the place.

"So the dance is gonna held at the ballroom section?"

"That's where they held the SeeD graduation ball. Especially when me and Rin got awfully danced at first." Squall smiled remembering the times he was forced to dance with her in a waltz.

"Why there was a stage at the front?" Irvine looked to see the stage and Squall noticed there was a catwalk at the top of the stage.

"I have an idea. There was a catwalk at the top of the stage. I'm sure if Malcolm would be present in secret. Confronting him personally would be enough to fight him."

"In other words... I have to confront him first before you." Irvine said noticing of Squall's strategy.

"That's right..."

"Well this party is going to be messy if we faced that bastard off the catwalk." Irvine commented about their plans in taking down Malcolm and now both men are ready to take action for tonight.


	9. Confronting the Matchmaker

_**Mission 8: **_Confronting the Matchmaker

At sunset, Irvine is about to get ready for tonight's dance as Selphie faces him and became worried for him.

"Irv... I wanna say something."

"What is it, Sefie?"

"About what happen to you last night? Did you actually had a fight at the cafeteria? You need to answer me..." Selphie said wanting to know while Irvine lowers his cowboy hat and coldly tells her.

"I know I caused a riot at the cafeteria, Sefie. I know for sure that bastard was still out there. You could reject me if you like."

As Irvine walks away dismissively, Selphie became saddened when he was upset.

Before the party started, Irvine is now seen in a black formal trenchcoat in a white long sleeved button-up shirt with a red formal tie along with a blue formal vest, black formal pants and loafers and his long auburn hair is now tied in a braid. He remembers about Squall's strategy in how to deal against Malcolm and he readied his shotgun knowing the fight will be messy in order to expose him and his deceptions.

Outside of the Garden, Jesse and her bandmates arrive and they were amused to see the entire Garden and Irvine arrives to see them.

"Hey, young lady... The party is not started yet."

"Did you already found the culprit?"

"Yeah... that culprit is the son of the owner of a jewelry shop in Deling City." Irvine answered; surprising her and her bandmates.

"Is it really true?"

"Positive... he already attacked me twice. But right now, I'm gonna rip this guy apart." Irvine said confirming about the enemy he's gonna face.

"You gotta break a leg, long haired dude..."

Irvine smiles to see the band as Rinoa arrives to find him in a white ballroom dress.

"Irvine... Squall was looking for you."

"So he's prepared already." Irvine smirked which he gave her a favor. "Um, Rinoa... since you hate your father that much. Could you speak to your father for me? Just in case if Squall and I knocked that shithole out."

"I'll try..." Rinoa reluctantly agrees to his favor as he goes back inside the Garden.

At the hallway, Irvine wields his shotgun knowing the enemy was still on the loose as he looked around the entire facility. He immediately gunpoints his shotgun from behind as it turns out to be Squall in a SeeD uniform and became relieved.

"I thought you were that bastard."

"Shhh! Be quiet... the enemy is close." Squall tries to keep his mouth shut as he drags him to hide. They noticed Malcolm appears in his real appearance while handling the gadget on his hand.

"Hold on, that gadget he carries... it's a holographic device. No wonder why he downloaded these lookers at the satellite in Dollet."

"I already saw him when I'm done dressing up to my SeeD uniform. I would expect he's the same guy on the picture that you showed it to me and Rinoa." Squall said finally confirms about Malcolm's real appearance.

"You can't find a right woman if you were way too selfish not like me for being ladykiller." Irvine commented which Squall sighs in a comment.

"It's unnatural if you keep being mistaken from killing women."

"Gah... now stop remarking about me being a murderous person to the girls..."

"I think right now... a lot of guys from my class are about to make a strike at the ballroom. Let's move..." Squall said telling him as both of them pursues Malcolm.

At the ballroom, we can see a lot of guys are having a strike to have a date with the female students on the event. Selphie was waiting for her ideal boyfriend to be here as well as the others.

"I wonder what happened to Hilbert..."

"Where could Dorian be?"

As all of the girls are wondering where their ideal boyfriends are, Malcolm arrives as his revenge is about to engage.

"Haha... look at all of these girls, they are waiting for me, me, ME!"

"Think again, you asshole!"

"What?!"

Irvine arrives to confront Malcolm as his shotgun was placed on the wall knowing of Squall's strategy as he personally confronts him.

"I regret about your looks and appearance. Now, you have to tell me why are you doing this to the girls?"

"It's simple, it's my personal revenge." Malcolm evilly smirks at Irvine who is now angered for his actions. "My love of my life dumped me because of this Garden rules."

"..."

"I had already desired to have this revenge. With this gizmo on my hand." Malcolm stated while showing the device to Irvine. "This gadget that I got information from my booths that your friend had destroyed it. I can transform into the girls' ideal boy. Now they all madly in love with me."

"You're being a total wreck! You also even prey the other students in underage too!" Irvine exclaimed angrily towards Malcolm as he sarcastically replies.

"I really don't care whether they were underage people or not. But for you, young lad. You were trying to ruin my plan of revenge. Since these ladies are so foolish to understand about me. I'm going to make them pay for it."

"What are you gonna do to them, you bastard?"

"All I have to do now by using this gizmo at my hand. I'm going to dump everyone in Valentine's Day! I'm gonna make them suffer!" Malcolm said evilly ready to engage his revenge. Now the battle between a sharpshooter and a matchmaker takes place who's gonna assist him to fight. Find out on my next chapter.


	10. Battling the Enemy

**A/N: **This is going to be a showdown between the three men and this is the only time Squall fights in his SeeD uniform due to his appearance in the Dissidia series as part of his alternate costume. This also demonstrates Irvine's sharpshooting skills besides his Limit Break. Here is the next chapter of my fic.

_**Mission 9: **_Battling the Enemy.

"All I have to do now by using this gizmo at my hand. I'm going to dump everyone in Valentine's Day! I'm gonna make them suffer!" Malcolm said evilly ready to engage his revenge until someone intervene.

"I had enough of your bullshit."

"What the!?"

Squall arrives to face Malcolm for his deceptions and Irvine smiles to see his comrade knowing of his strategy to battle him.

"You know something, jack. Your words just overheard by the commander of Balamb Garden and you fell for it." Irvine chuckled to see Malcolm surprised.

"Another young lad, how is that possible?"

"Your efforts are far from over, you bastard. Toying the girls' hearts so that you can break them all up. I think it's about time to face your judgement." Squall angrily berates Malcolm for causing the agony on the girls and seeing the two of them are cornering him.

"You two goof balls don't stand a chance against me. You think I would be stopped by the both of you." Malcolm evilly smirks as he activates the device to transform into a ninja assassin. "Instead, this is your worst nightmare. And I'll start out with YOU!"

Malcolm attacks Irvine with his kodachi, only to be blocked by Squall who wields his gunblade as he looked at Irvine.

"Irvine, I'll keep him busy. You have to force him off the catwalk by shooting with your shotgun, hurry."

"Gotcha..." Irvine then goes to get his shotgun as Squall continues to battle the enemy in a sword fight.

At the grounds of a ballroom section, all the girls are worrying about their ideal boyfriends.

"Where could Rob be?"

"Especially my boyfriend..."

The two girls are crying as the latter reacts at them.

"Hey, stop crying... My Darien was so late. Where is he?"

"That's weird, how come all the girls are getting worried by someone being late?" Zell wondered about the girls as Quistis came to see them and curious to know what is going on. Rinoa was waiting for both Squall and Irvine and seeing that they were busy taking down the enemy.

Malcolm and Squall are clashing each others blades as Squall overpowers him by using Solid Barrel and knocking him down with a Revolver Drive as the kodachi he wields was broken.

"Grrr! How come someone like you can even beat me with just a pocket knife?! No matter, I'm gonna rip you apart!" Malcolm then transforms into a hulking muscular man.

Irvine became irritated by his transformation as he now wields the shotgun as he mutters.

"Okay, you son of a bitch! It's time to put you down!"

Irvine tries to aim at the wooden floors as Squall tries to think of how to deal with him as he thought.

_He maybe good on sword fighting but I can't use my Limits to beat him. Otherwise, I would accidentally destroy the Garden in my own two hands. Come on, Irvine... do something._

Malcolm now charges at him with his own two hands as Irvine directly shoots the wooden floor with his shotgun to make a hole causing him to fell over it due to his size. Malcolm tries to get free as the wood floorings are about to crack open and Squall personally confronts him as he put his gunblade onto the floor.

"!"

"You think my weapon is a pocket knife." Squall coldly berates Malcolm for his remarks while putting his left hand on his left hip as he gets the handle from his gunblade. "My weapon is a gunblade, you idiot."

Squall then triggers the gunblade to make Malcolm fall into the catwalk and onto the floor as Irvine looked on to see he did it. The girls are horribly surprised to see his hulking appearance.

"Yes! Haha!" Irvine excitedly smiles after defeating Malcolm but accidentally shoots his shotgun on purpose much to his frustration. "Oh crap!"

Squall arrives while raising his gunblade in one hand after hearing the gunshot from Irvine's shotgun and he shakes his head as he thought.

_He's done it again..._

All of the girls are surprised to see the man while Zell, Rinoa and Quistis are seeing the entire thing as Squall and Irvine finally arrives in the scene with their weapons in hand as Irvine takes the device that he had dropped.

"Sorry for the party to be delayed, I think it's about time to expose this culprit right before your eyes." Squall politely apologizes to the girls for the party being delayed and wants to expose Malcolm and his deceptions as he looked at Irvine. "Irvine, you do the honors."

"Listen, ladies... I know you wouldn't like me if I exposed this jackass right in front of you and you too Sefie." Irvine said calmly to the girls and he finally shuffles all of his alternate forms. "Allow me to introduce you to, Hilbert, Dorian, and Darien, and Jarod, and Rob, Warren and Merrick and last and definitely least is Malcolm."

The girls are overwhelm after exposing Malcolm and his deceptions and he wakes up and being confronted by many girls.

"I can't believe you were trying to trick me this whole time!"

"I can't believe to deceived me this entire time, How could you!?" Selphie said became angered for his deceptions.

"I've never expect you, exfoliate my feet!"

"Squall, where were you with Irvine?" Rinoa said worriedly to her boyfriend as he points out on the girls who were enraged.

"You'd better see for yourself, Rin. He and I we just took him down and we let the girls to let out of their steam."

The girls remove the gemstone rings being given to him as he threw him to the face, getting angered over his deceptions and it was far from over for him.

"Let's rip this guy's head."

"We have to burn him with magic."

"We're gonna pulverize him!"

"Ahem... ladies..." Squall said while clearing his throat and he tells them. "I got one better than that."

"What are you going to do with me? You're gonna throw me out in prison..."

"We could throw you at the Galbadian D-District Prison for your actions." Squall said with a deep tone of his voice as he calmly smirks. "There's only one guy who's gonna beat the hell outta you."

Irvine personally confronts Malcolm not just to make the girls getting deceived as well as attacking him twice inside from the Garden facilities to ruin his reputation as he put his shotgun on the one of the tables while he cracks both of his knuckles and grabs his collar to punch him to the face twice following by another two punches to the gut and two right punches and finally knocks him away with a left roundhouse kick, sending him to the ocean as the girls were lively cheer upon him as Irvine shakes his right fist due to being in recoiled.

"Not just the girls you had deceived?! But you ruined my track record as a graduate student, you degenerate son of a bitch?!" Irvine angrily swears on Malcolm after he knocks him through the ocean.

The girls are happy to see Irvine pummels Malcolm and knocks him through the ocean and Zell was surprised to see him fighting in barefist and became amused. Quistis claps her hands for his efforts while both Squall and Rinoa are delighted to see him taking Malcolm down with his own two hands as he gives him a thumbs up as Irvine does the same and the entire Valentine's dance are about to begin.


	11. The Sharpshooter's Sidelines

_**Final Mission: **_The Sharpshooter's Sidelines

At the beach side in Balamb Island, an injured Malcolm is now being taken custody by two Galbaldian soldiers being ordered by General Caraway as the motor boat finally sails away and being watched by both Irvine and Rinoa.

"I'm so glad my father accepts your request, Irvine. Here's a napkin to clean your hands up." Rinoa said nicely as she gave him a napkin to clean Irvine's hands after he pummels Malcolm in front of the students.

"Yeah... your boyfriend finally tells the girls about being too blinded towards a lot of great guys around the continent."

"Rin, Irvine..." Squall arrives to see them and he informs Irvine that Selphie was looking for him as the party was already started. "The party is already started and Irvine, Selphie is looking for you."

At the ballroom, everyone including Squall and Rinoa are dancing in a waltz and the first time Zell and the library girl does the same. Irvine watches their dance as Selphie came to see him and finally apologizes to him.

"Uhm, Irvine... I'm so sorry about what I said earlier. Our friendship is more important than dating other guys. Can you forgive me?"

"Apology accepted, Sefie..." Irvine said smiling at her and he has a surprise for her which he cuts the music as the students are disappointed as he walked towards her. "I have a Valentine's gift for you."

"Really? For me?" Selphie said in excitement as Irvine tells everyone about the surprise gift for her.

"I know we keep doing ballroom dances everyday during formal occasions. I think this is the right time to make this party lively. This is my gift, Sefie."

Irvine snaps his fingers as the music turns into a disco as Jesse and her rock band finally performs their music with the song "Let the Joy Rise", much to Selphie's surprise and excitement. All of the Balamb students are surprised that they love to watch rock concerts as Squall was surprised to see Irvine made a surprise concert and it was Irvine's plan all along just to surprise Selphie as a gift and Rinoa informs him that he needs to play along with the others as he reluctantly agrees. Jesse sings the song to everyone as they danced lively while singing the song. Both Irvine and Selphie are dancing lively in a disco while Zell and the library girl did the same. Squall had no choice but to shrug when Rinoa dances like the others as he plays along with them. The Valentine's Dance had turned into a lively event. As all of the students are having a good time in which Squall, Zell and Irvine are showing their dance movements unexpectedly, much to the delight of the girls. With that, the party becomes a blasts as the song finally ends.

The next day at the Balamb Harbor as the entire island becomes a warmer climate, Irvine is now seen in a light purple vest with a white long sleeved button shirt which the sleeves are rolled up, gray jeans and his brown shoes from his main outfit and he was seen being shake hands with the girl who thanked him for giving some love advices.

"You're welcome, have a good day."

"Irv... what are you doing at the harbor?" Selphie visits him which he happily smiles.

"I just had my own sidelines, Sefie. From now on, I'm became a professional self-guru who gave the girls some beautiful love advices."

"A self-guru? Are you serious?" Selphie wondered in confusion which the latter replies as his face is bright red.

"Well I uh... I just learned that from a certain beautiful lady who is very pretty in person. I guess that I'm lucky that she tells us everything."

"Who is this certain lady you were talking about?" Selphie asked wanting to know who she is.

Before he could answer her question, Squall arrives to visit them wearing a navy blue tank top with gray trim and a steel design adorned with a chain on his left arm, black fingerless gloves while wearing his pants, belt and boots from his main outfit and he remarked to her about what they had met yesterday.

"She's a former student in Balamb Garden, Selphie. You didn't know?"

"Squall, I thought you were with Rinoa? Why are you here?" Selphie said childishly which he replies in a shrug.

"I'm just passing by and Rin was in the cafeteria to help the cafeteria lady to fix the entire mess after Irvine had a brawl with Malcolm two days ago."

"What former student you were saying?" Selphie wondered which Squall smiles at her.

"She was naturally pretty in person, Selphie and her name is Sara. If you see her and you'll be thrilled. I know why Irvine is acting hilarious because he had a small crush on her for being a ladykiller."

"Gah!" Irvine froze when Squall says about him being a ladykiller which angers Selphie for his antics when a comical music background has been played.

"Irv... you didn't tell me that you had a crush on that lady?"

"Uhhh... Sefie, that's not what you mean." Irvine became panicked to see Selphie furiously wields her makeshift nunchucks and attacks him and gives him chase.

"You better get back here, Irvine! I'm gonna punish you for it!"

"Sefie, I had no crush on anyone else. I'm just wooing to her appearance..." Irvine scarily said to her. Both of them continued to chase each other as Squall watches the entire scene while putting his left hand on his left hip as he thought.

_I shouldn't said it to her about Irvine had a mild crush on that lady. I'd never thought that Selphie would be extremely jealous to him._

"You know Selphie, don't get yourself carried away. I said that his crush on her was mild. He'd never done anything."

Selphie stops when Irvine was exhausted from getting chase and looked at Squall who is watching as he annoyingly spats at him.

"Why did you tell her that?"

"Chill out, Irvine... I told her because she simply wants to know everything. A lot of students are gossiping about Sara at the cafeteria right now." Squall replies and he tells Selphie about Sara. "And about Sara, she was already engaged."

"I didn't know that she was engaged." Selphie said as Irvine noticed a girl passing by as he tells her.

"Sorry, Sefie... I have a client to meet."

As Irvine leaves the scene to follow the lady making Selphie annoyed at his actions as Squall calmly tells her.

"Just let him go, alright. At least the entire problem yesterday was already solved."

With that, both watches Irvine follows the woman who passed them because of his sidelines as a self-guru who gave many love advices to any women that he encounters.

* * *

**A/N: **Well they're you have it, this is the end of the gag fic. I'll take a break to post the 10-shot gag fics for the remaining Final Fantasy VIII characters which are the girls such as Selphie, Quistis and Rinoa. Irvine's gag reel in this entire 10-shot fic is often being mistaken as a serial lady killer that make him froze after he often claims himself being a ladykiller who attracts beautiful women and that word is an another term for a ladies' man due to his handsome appearance. The next remaining three gag fics will be posted in 2020. Happy reading, everybody :D


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